


Holding Pattern

by Grenegome



Category: Dresden Files - All Media Types, Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Baby, Gen, Kinkmeme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-11
Updated: 2011-12-11
Packaged: 2017-10-27 05:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grenegome/pseuds/Grenegome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marcone has to hold a baby. He's really bad at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding Pattern

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the Dresden Files Kink Meme.

The baby kept crying. Marcone held it at arms length, straight out in front of him.

“The head!” I yelled, as I rooted through my bag. “They have floppy necks! Don’t just dangle him.”

“He’s rather sensibly frightened of me, Mr. Dresden. Perhaps you should hold the infant and I can find the ingredients.”

“Yeah, he’s scared you’re about to _drop him on the floor_ , you idiot. Hold him properly.”

Marcone stared at the kid in front of him. “How?”

I’ve had baby Carpenters bundled into my arms on occasion, but I wasn’t exactly an authority on the subject. “I don’t know! Against your shoulder? Figure it out.”

Marcone brought the baby in closer, tucked up against his chest. He looked like a man cradling a grenade.

“ ...His skull fits in my palm,” he said, disturbed.

“Yeah, that’s how babies work, Marcone. They’re small people. Rock him or something.”

Marcone started pacing a wide circle around me as I kept searching through my bag of tricks. I tried not to show how tense I got every time he walked behind me. I knew he wasn’t going to try anything, especially not with a babe in arms, but you just try telling that to my hindbrain.

“Hah!” I said, finding the iron filings I’d been looking for. “Right, I need to concentrate. Can you shush him or something?”

Marcone stopped pacing, and held the kid out in front of him a little. “Joshua, I believe? Please be quiet. Mr. Dresden is trying to help you.”

The kid took a giant gulp of air, looked at Marcone for a moment, and then _howled_ at him, face screwed up into a little red twist of misery that had me on my feet and leaning over Marcone’s shoulder before I’d even thought about it.

“Hey, hey, kiddo, come on, cheer up! I’m gonna kick some Fae ass for you, I promise.”

“Language,” Marcone murmured, but the baby had closed his mouth, and was looking at me quietly. I grinned down at him, and then suddenly Marcone spun, pulled me in close, and I was _holding a baby_. Argh.

Marcone stepped back sharply, and I glared at him. “Sure, I’ll just do a warding with a baby under my arm. Won’t cramp my style at all.”

“Joshua likes you,” Marcone pointed out in an infuriatingly reasonable tone of voice. “Small children have good instincts.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Because you’re such a danger to innocent babies. His _instincts_ were telling him that you were freaking the fu- ”

Marcone was suddenly a lot closer, hand landing over my mouth. “Really, Harry.”

I licked his hand, because I’m twelve. Marcone wiped the palm of his hand primly on my duster. “Really though, I can’t cast like this. So you get to hold him.”

Marcone watched me carefully, clearly running through a series of possibilities in his head, still standing too close. “Talk me through it then,” he said, after a moment.

“Marcone- I don’t know what I’m doing here. It’s like giving hugs; no one issues you with an instruction book.”

“Would it shock you to learn I’m not a hugger?”

“Not- shut up. Ok, Arbitrary Step 1 of the Dresden Improvised Baby Holding Program: Relax. Think happy thoughts.”

Marcone raised an eyebrow at me.

“Come on. Pretend you annexed Wisconsin or something. Wait. Did you already... whatever. Happy mob thoughts.” Marcone was still eyebrowing me. Maybe he’d sprain something and get stuck that way. “Ok, not work thoughts then. Maybe... a good beer? A nice girl, whatever.”

“Whatever,” Marcone echoed, but then suddenly a little smile was lurking on his face. If you knew how to look.

“Good, ok, keep doing that. Joshua? Hey kiddo! Let’s go see Marrrrrr-cone, hey?” I was vaguely aware I was talking like an idiot. People used to address Mouse that way, back when he was all tiny and cute.

“Ae! Ah! Ee!” Joshua said, which was inexplicably amazing to me. I beamed at him.

“Clever boy! Aeeeee. Aeeeee? Eeeee.”

“Eeeeee!” Joshua agreed. I glanced up in a _hey, isn’t he cool_ kind of way at Marcone, only to find him... I don’t know. The tension had gone from his shoulders, and the smile lines at the corner of his eyes were making an appearance, even though he was still making an attempt at Impassive Mafia Face. He was angled towards us, leaning in ever so slightly.

“Uh?” I said, and Marcone jerked, like I’d slapped him back into his sense of propriety. “Wait, no, chill out Marcone. Hold that thought.”

“I really can’t afford to,” he said calmly. “Hand me the child, Mr Dresden. If he can’t be quiet, we’ll step next door.”

“...Right,” I said, and passed him over.

I assembled my spell as Marcone paced a circle around me, holding little Joshua close. I couldn’t help but think I was missing something.


End file.
